Friday, April 18, 2014

Excerpt from Shy's Retreat pt 3 (WIP)

Moments later, they arrived at the hotel. As expected, she was whisked away upon arrival. She was escorted to her room and she stood out of the way while watching the attendants work. They buzzed around making sure everything was in its proper place. Some would check to see if there was anything in particular she wanted. She smiled and said no. Just as suddenly as they arrived they vanished.

She poured herself a drink and sat on the bed with her legs crossed, the left leg bouncing slowly. She held her drink by her fingertips. Shy sat staring blankly at the floor while she tried to wrap her head around what was happening. It appeared her vacation was shot to hell. Deeply she exhaled, as she thought about being a wife and mother. Though, both were a blessing, they come with a cost. She couldn't remember the last time she had time to herself. She smiled softly, as she recalled the sounds of her bunch ripping and running through the house,. creating the havoc that comes with raising a family. Something they conveniently left out of the mommy magazines. Her smile deepens realizing it was one of the greatest sounds she ever heard.

The silence seeped back into her consciousness, slow and steady. Shy sipped the drink while looking around the room. Now, realizing just how badly she needed this break she took another drink, closing her eyes, as it burned its way to her stomach. The drink was a bit strong, yet it was just right. She sat the drink on the table by the door. She pulled some stories from her bag she intended read and threw them on the bed. She got things situated by the bed and laid down.

She flipped through the stories and decided on reading a one by her friend Mangus. She had known him for years. Mangus was a bit of a goof ball, but a decent enough fellow. She really enjoyed reading his work, but he couldn't seem to get this one right. She decided to read the story through before making notes. Shy sub consciously licked her lips. This version had a different feel to it. Her soaked panties confirmed that. She wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or the tale. She giggled a bit because it didn't matter which.


  1. I loved the last line, because it is so very true. I am curious why she is on holiday by herself, so I suspect I will have to read more. You are a few typos here and there so you might want to reread it through and fix them. Shy for 'she' for example. Spell check won't catch that, but I was tickled that you referenced and slightly berated yourself. That was clever and cute. Love this. It screams for more! xo

  2. Sounds like she just might enjoy this time alone. :)

  3. I loved this different take from an author's pen. Your words brought me into the room feeling her angst as a mother and the role often neglected.Anticipation waits to see how far she will proceed with the story. It might be nice to share what she's reading in a longer snippet.

  4. I really like your taster. Your visuals are spot on andI agree with Muffy about how true the end is. I hope she enjoys this time

    I love this taster. Really good visuals and I certainly agree with Muffy about the ending being so true. I hope she enjoys her time

    I love this taster.

  5. Yup, I think I need a vacation too. :) Thanks for the read.

  6. Visual excerpt, yes there are a few typo's that spoil the flow a little and I agree with Pablo about needing a longer paragraph about what she's reading that's getting her so excited (although you probably do go into that further on l'm sure) I love the visuals though, I can see her sitting there bouncing her leg!