Author Note: This is a reexamination of an older story I think that needs so fresh blood. Tell me thoughts about it ???
“What do you want; can’t you see I’m busy?” Mangus, wearing the harsh scowl, Talon had seen for years. Mangus turned from the parchment he was reviewing as he responded to her greeting. Mangus paused for a moment and then continued, “Whatever it is, for the sake of all that is holy be brief!”
Talon wouldn’t let the anger in his voice deter her. She had a mission and she would see it through. Although the men knew their commander was proud of their accomplishments in battle. They just wanted to hear it. They wanted the Shadow Lord to stand before them in celebration, as he did in battle. They believed the Supreme General Talon was just the person to possibly get this worn torn, gruff man understand their needs. “I will my Lord; you weren’t at the feast, My Lord. Mangus returned to reviewing the parchment. He paced the floor, pulling at his salt and pepper whiskers, driving deeper thought. Talon had to choose her next words carefully. She knew she had to say something in order to regain Mangus’s attention and keep it. “My Lord, Once again you are neglecting your duties to the men. I’ve come to get you.” Talon asserted, as she crossed her legs.
“NEGLECT MY MEN, COME TO GET ME!!!” Mangus yelled, His words were like fire. His expression was of intense anger just say of death. Talon remained firm, careful not to show the fear that consumed her entire being. Mangus tossed the parchment on a nearby table and proceeded to walk towards her. Mangus’s movements were slow and precise. Talon’s heart began to pound. She had seen moves like this on the battlefield. Talon knew that Mangus had certainly killed for less. Mangus towered over her, as she looked up at him from her seated position. Talon watched as Mangus studied her eyes for a moment.
Mangus stood staring at this woman, his supreme general. She must have forgotten her place. Talon was no longer the scared little orphan girl, which he had rescued from that ravished village on the coast, over a century ago. Mangus didn’t know what else to do with a girl child, so Mangus taught her the only things he knew. Things that a woman should never know, but these skills had saved her many times. Talon recalled the point of his instruction; to protect the weak, against the strong.
Mangus continued looking at her, Talon’s appearance designed to fit into a man’s world. Her loosely fitted clothes and short cropped hair, with no apparent style allowed her to blend right in. Mangus never had a problem with that before now. Talon had been what he needed her to be. Mangus had become accustom to her strong will, brilliant mind, and undeniable cunning. He relied heavily on these in and out of battle. Mangus didn’t teach Talon how to survive, he taught how to live. Overall, Mangus believed that everything had worked out for the best.
However now gazing at Talon’s soft, delicate, and pale skin which shimmered in the candlelight. For the first time, Mangus saw a beautiful woman instead his supreme general. Talon was something different than the capable and fierce warrior that fought alongside him for nearly a century. To him it was apparent that the gods had taken their time in the creation of this one. Mangus began wondering what he had done to deserve her sword, her trust, or her loyalty. Talon’s skill was unmatched. Mangus swallowed hard, as he felt his heart beat faster. His nostrils began to flare. Then he exhaled and leaned back on the table. Mangus squared himself, hoping that he hadn’t shown any signs of affection.
Brilliant execution of Magnus's transition from rage to affection. This taster is so beautifully crafted; it is such a compelling read.
ReplyDeleteThanks Don, I did wonder about that transition
DeleteI wonder why Magnus doesn't want to show his feelings for her? Interesting storyline! Would like to see more of this. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Dianne, I am reworking the entire piece there may be some abrupt changes...stay tuned
DeleteYou introduced a side of Mangus that shows his vulnerability. Will he express his affection toward Talon eventually. Excellent work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pablo, The Mangus character is still a work in progress. I would think after all this time I would have him, but I still struggle with I would like to place him. Modern vs. Ancient ...ugh
DeleteExcellent taster. The displays of emotion angry and passionate are a real hook and make me want more
ReplyDeleteThanks Naomi, I wasn't sure if the emotions were coming through properly or not.
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